GYM BREAK - 10 min Six Pack Workout by Szymon Gaś…: http://youtu.be/raQh-D6V8iU

4 Minute Ab Workout: http://youtu.be/IKBhWXPl0yQ

7 Minute Ab Workout: http://youtu.be/l0EIkTZpHvw

Quick Sweat Cardio Workout to Lose Weight & Burn …: http://youtu.be/X1TuhAn6C-g

Healthy mind healthy body...

I've decided its time to write a post about the ways that I like to keep fit, focusing on the ways that I work out rather than the food I eat. I'll talk about that another time. I was shocked to read a daily mail article recently detailing the results of a survey carried out by Real magazine in 2014. In the UK, just 3% of women are happy with their body. 73% spend their days obsessing and worrying over their body size and shape. Self scrutiny is something I'm very familiar with, as I'm sure a lot of you guys are. Fitness isn't just about how you look though, its about what you eat and your mentality. I am going to show you how easy it is to incorporate some exercise in to your life that will TONE and target particular muscle groups. My interest has always been in the abs and from that, I've begun to develop my legs and bum muscles, my arms and shoulders, and whatever I can really. The youtube videos i use, Xhit even have back toning exercises!! I don't necessarily want to LOSE weight. I just want to tone up. I've noticed a real difference in my body in the past 6 months, and I really have to thank xhit for that. I do not do cardio every day, although I play tennis whenever i can, sometimes daily and ride my bike, although mainly in the summer.

Having said that, i wish I could do more. I don't have the money at the moment to join a gym. I AM happier than I was say 6 months ago about my fitness levels and about the way I look in a bikini but there is still a lot of room for improvement and I am very hard on myself. 
I discovered XHit on YouTube mid summer this year and I immediately identified with one of their female trainers, Rebecca Louise. Tweet her @themodelpilot and see her Facebook at Rebecca Louise. Her fitness website is full of tips and is online at www.rlhealthy.com. Inspired and interested in Rebecca as a person as well as a fitness instructor I looked in to her past a little bit and found out that we share bits of the same story, a story that is sadly probably all too familiar for many of you girls and guys out there. Rebecca was anorexic when she was younger just like I was in my late teens and early twenties. She eventually overcame her anorexia and body dismorphia and has turned her obsession and preoccupation with being thin into something positive. She now lives in California with her two rescue dogs, and spends her time teaching a range of fitness classes on Huntingdon beach and filming the very successful xhit videos from her studio and sitting room, (i know, talk about dream job!!) Check out the xhit videos on YouTube. I'll give you some tips as to which ones I think are particularly effective for targeting different muscle groups and areas.

I started off just looking for an workout routines on YouTube and I did one set of seven to ten minutes a day in my bedroom. I haven't been to the gym for a few years but I live a relatively healthy lifestyle. At the point where I was starting this, I was riding my bike regularly. I'm the kind of person to push myself. If I'm on my bike and there are the options of a steep hill or a more gentle route, I will force myself up the hill and the reward for me at the end of it, is the burn I feel in my thighs and the ability to say 'I've done it'!! In the summer, my boyfriend and I play tennis on the beach and throw an american football around. I know its not like I was running or gymning every day but I try to live a fun, active and I think pretty healthy lifestyle. 

2014 has really been the year to get fit for free online, with social media providing us with all the inspiration we will ever need, (hello jen selter!!) You really can get 'lean in 15' these days with the wealth of YouTube videos and fitness tips online. And you don't have to pay to join up to a fitness programme. Fitness with Lucy isnt like xhit with videos posted pretty much daily that you can work put alongside to, but there us a 4 minute ab video that I like, basically made up of crunches done in different ways with as short burn out at the end. It's quick and I usually do it every day along with one or two longer xhit ab workouts and maybe a leg and bum one in there too. Xhit have a brilliant ab workout with Rebecca Louise called 7 minute abs, and its one of their hardest but best. I find it motivational to work out alongside Rebecca, but at home when I have been up for an hour or so I just get my mat out and do 5 or 10 minutes of whatever ab exercises I want, because xhit have taught me so many. 

Its Christmas week at the moment, and I'm away in wales so its harder to work out like I do at home. I do need to team my ab and leg workouts with more cardio. Xhit have short cardio workouts, averaging I guess about 15 minutes. The 7 minute method one is awesome, as it is the equivalent of doing half an hours gym work out. They've also got boot camp style workouts and cross fit videos too. I have definitely changed the way I like to work out. I used to go to the gym and run on the treadmill steadily forEVER, and use the cross trainer and bike. Now, I prefer to do short bursts of higher intensity cardio training, like circuit training. I would suggest its a good idea to find a hobby that will keep you fit and team that with these online ab and leg workouts, or whichever of the shorter videos you want to use. I try to play tennis every day, and ride my bike when the British weather let's me, which let's be honest at the moment is NEVER. I don't feel like I am working out, but tennis is great for all round body strength and fitness. Check out tennis-health.com for loads of reasons as to why tennis is good for all round health.

The great thing about the way xhit and Rebecca Louise workout is that they mix up the exercises. You won't be doing one exercise for more than a minute before you move on to the next one. Its tough enough to burn the target muscle but because Rebecca moves on to the next exercise, there's less chance of you giving up!! Its also been proven that mixing up and changing the exercises you do is more effective than doing the same thing every day. 

I don't just use xhit, but for me, they're the best. I'll finish off this post now, bit I'll definitely continue with this theme as we get further in to 2015!! Check out Marie Claire's fitness special, starting on page 161 of the February issue. They list quite a few of the 'virtual exercise classes' (their term), that I use along with cool workout outfits to give you that extra nudge in the right direction. I think the new online workout phenomenon that's taking over the internet is inspiration and motivation in itself. Xhits Rebecca Louise and Kelsey Lee, (who i promise to mention in my next fitness blog post), have become my fitspiration and all round hero's. They're so enthusiastic and easy to watch, I find myself searching for new videos every day on YouTube. I'll watch them and really WANT to try put the exercises I see them doing. I've never had a problem with motivating myself, but I do have days where I think, 'oh...it's the weekend/it's Friday night/I've had a long day, I'm tired/I'll do more tomorrow to make up for not doing much today'...etc etc, EVERYONE does, but because there are SO many different xhit workouts, (even a THREE MINUTE ABS one!!!!!!!), I PROMISE you will want to get up and try them out. Fitness is changing and its becoming so much easier to be the body that we want, so try out xhits videos and here's to a fit and toned 2015!!!!!!!

Mindful - less - ness

Last year I attended a mindfulness group as part of my recovery. I've never believed in group therapy or wanted to have any part of it. Let's just say that the idea of siting there, spilling my heart and innermost fears to a group of people; never mind a group of addicts didn't exactly appeal to me. But I went. Something really weird happened every Thursday afternoon. I began to share my feelings and fears. Stuff that I hadn't really told anyone properly before because I guess I felt that what I felt about my addiction was pretty unimportant and selfish when you consider all the other problems in the world. I started to believe that I actually had some advice that I could give people and I came away from these group sessions feeling like a huge weight had been lifted. I cried a lot, sometimes seemingly for absolutely no reason, (I'm sure deep down I probably could pinpoint the source of my tears) and by the end of the 32 weeks I talked more than anyone else there. I felt I had something to say about everything, I could relate to everyone. My boyfriend didn't understand, he couldn't and still can't see how anyone can tell people you don't really know things about yourself. He is a very private person. I kind of wish that I still went to this group, even though I completed it. Maybe part of why I am writing this blog is because I don't have those sessions anymore and I see that bottling everything up is beginning to affect me. I am pretty positive that I will never use heroin again. I don't think I should say that I never will, even though that is how I feel, but I don't want to become complacent, they say that addicts should never say never. I just feel quite down a lot of the time. Especially in the mornings. I get up before everyone else, (that's when I do things like this blog), it's my time to think, maybe too much. I sort of feel like my heart is sometimes going to beat out of my chest. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. This is when I feel the most guilt and real raw sorrow, at what my addiction has done to my family. About how I have lost all my friends who meant so much to me. About where I am now, and where I will be in the future. I feel like I am a nobody, and I so want to make a difference in this world. I feel like its too late. All of my old friends are getting married and having babies and buying houses. And it hits me that if and when I do have kids, they are going to grow up very differently to my friends children. If I ever own a house, it certainly won't be a Victorian terrace in Tunbridge Wells, my daughter would never go to the private, all girls school that I did, I won't be a yummy mummy rejuvenating herself at a spa while daddy takes care of the kids. I recently read a Facebook status update, posted by an old school 'friend'; 'woo, my Mercedes is ready for collection. Merry Christmas me!!' I've gotta tell you, my response was of the jealous bitch variety.
Even as I write this I know I sound like a spoiled brat. It's not even that I want that lifestyle or feel its important that my kids go to private school or live in a big house. I will love them and that will be enough. Its just the whole 'what if??' thing. The grass is always greener yada yada yada, but i will never know what my 'other' life would have been like, where an alternative path might have led me. Where would i be now?? I had choices. I went through phases, travelled around the world and lived in different places. But I settled for heroin. And that is the truth. That is what i chose, and heroin chose me. I remember a poem that someone gave me when i was in a detox unit in weston super mare, called Lady Heroin. I'll find it and post it one day soon. People can tell me all they want how I am not even 30 years old, I have all the time in the world. I can get a good job, I can have a career, I can get back to where I was before I f***ed everything up, but I don't see that I can, I really don't. I don't even know what I want to do. I don't know what I can do. I feel like I am totally left on the shelf. I feel like I'm drowning. The guilt I feel is like a cancer, eating away at me. I don't know the difference between doing things for myself that I want to do, and doing things to make my family happy and to try to prove that I am not just a junkie anymore. I am not giving up and I never will give up. I will always be a fighter, I enter a boxing ring every day and take on this demon on my back, and I am determined to always win.
I don't know if I am ready to go back to work, but I have to. I do not have a choice. I cannot continue to let my mum subsidise and support me like she is. She is scared to tell me the truth about her work situation. She has touched upon it and I know that things are bad and that it is a very real possibility that next year she may lose her job. She's told me that she is not worried about her. She would quite like life to give her that little push, (or actually in this case, quite a monumental shove). It would make her sell the house which she has intended to do at some point, it would mean she would have to slow down, it would mean that maybe she could just enjoy life for once. My mum is a fighter. Her story doesn't have a place here, but I will tell it another time. She tells me that she is find with what might and probably will happen to her but she is terrified of how Danny and I will cope, of what we will do and how we will be able to afford to live in our own place and eat and just live.
Even just reading this I am ashamed of how weak I sound. I'm sure there are scores of you screaming at the screen 'get a job you lazy druggie benefit scum'. A job. I must apply for a hundred jobs a week. I know that I have a strong cv and a good cover letter to go with it and I truly believe that every application that I send off is a good one. But I haven't been asked for one interview yet. I havent been given one chance to show someone who I really am. I am just a piece of paper, black and white with a lot of restaurant experience and a huge gaping hole of five years and counting in my employment history. Mum tells me that applying for jobs online is not enough, people need to meet me to see that i am quite presentable and polite as you cant tell anything about who someone really is from an online application. But im looking for receptionist jobs. What can i do?? Isnt it a bit weird to walk in to an office and ask for work?? Its not like a restaurant. I would feel a bit stupid. I have to be honest, there is something holding me back. Otherwise i would do exactly what i just said. I am terrified go back to work. Its a huge step. It will completely change my life. For the better, so whats the problem, what is wrong with me?? I have an English literature degree, and I am applying for receptionist and office admin jobs. I know, I know, my mum must be so proud. My brother has just completed his masters at Cambridge. THE CAMBRIDGE!! He got a city job straight away and he is doing amazingly. I am so proud of him. But i can't help but compare myself to him, it's what I've always done. I need to grow some balls.
Since I started writing this things have developed. I am absolutely terrified, but I guess the next chapter of my life has begun. I don't know how long blog posts can be, but I'm going on a bit now, I doubt that anyone is going to sit and read posts like this. I looked up a couple of online blogs about life and they were all pretty with pictures and tips for healthy eating and home decoration and fashion tips. It got me to thinking - what am I trying to do with this blog?? I don't want it to become like a diary, and although I want to get across my experiences of addiction I don't want it just to be about that. I don't want that to be all that people see. So in future posts I will try to a) make my writing shorter and b) focus on one subject and write about that for each post rather than just rambling on about how I am feeling. I have always wanted to write a book about what I have done, like a diary of an addict, from the bottom to the top, comi through addiction etc etc but I'm not sure hat this is the place.. If anyone on earth has read this, tell me what you think. What are you interested in??

My first blog post...

I've decided to write a blog. This is a new and pretty exciting thing for me. I know that everyone does it nowadays, so it's nothing radical or different; it's unlikely that someone is going to stumble across this on some Internet site and decide that I've got something to say that the world needs to hear. I'm probably not going to make a difference to that many peoples lives, but if just one person reads this and gets something from my (sometimes sorry) life experiences then I guess I will have made a difference to that one person, and that's ok. I'm not looking to be the next gloop.
Why do people decide to write a blog?? For me, my inspiration came from a jojo moyes book I've just read - 'The One Plus One'. It's pretty hard to condense 516 pages In to a few sentences, but I'll try. Jessica Rae Thomas is the story's heroine. She is in a dire financial situation and with two children to bring up and bills to pay, even her two jobs are not sufficient. It doesnt help that tanzie, her youngest is a maths prodigy, who has been offered a 90% discount on the fees for a private school where she will be encouraged to pursue with her maths; a stark contrast to the comprehensive she currently attends, where she is branded a weirdo, with her homemade, tacky clothes and her glasses. Jess's one chance to find the remaining money for her daughter is to enter her in to a maths competition. There's just one problem...it's all the way up in Aberdeen, and jess literally has no money to spare. Fate, and perhaps karma intervenes when she bumps in to her arrogant employer and puts him in to a taxi after he spends a night drinking heavily in the pub where she works. Ed drops an envelope stuffed with £500, and in desperation jess takes the money as a down payment for the school she wants her daughter to attend. Tanzie is given the chance to earn a 90% scholarship discount to the school. She just has to get both her kids, herself and the family dog up to Aberdeen for the maths competition, and she hasn't a penny left for the travel there. Without any car insurance, jess decides recklessly that her only option is to set off in her ex's car that has been rusting in the garage. It isn't long before they are stopped by the police. Upper and working classes collide once more when Ed comes to their rescue. He knows that Jess made sure he got home safely that night from the pub, but he has no idea that she took his lost cash. Feeling that he owes her and seeing how desperate her situation is, he offers to drive them all to Aberdeen the next morning.
I am really aware that this is turning in to a rather lengthy book review. I want this blog to be a mixture of everything that interests me,  so I WILL be talking about books I've read but that wasn't the plan here.
To try to cut a long story short, they eventually get to Aberdeen but the test doesn't go to plan as Tanzie loses her glasses. They return home despondent and miserable, ready to accept that things will always be hard for the Rae-Thomas's. On top of everything else, Ed has discovered Jess' deception and has left. While they were away, Tanzie's adopted son Nicky formed an unexpected bond with him; confiding in him about boys that have been bullying him on the estate and at school. Ed really helps him and on his advice and in an attempt to 'find his people' and fit in, Nicky starts to write a blog. It becomes a form of therapy as he comes out of his shell and tells his story for the world to read. Hundreds of people decide to donate money to help them and they all learn that there are kind people in the world and there is light at the end of the tunnel!! They receive a phone call inviting Tanzie to take a re-test so she gets another chance at the scholarship.
The story has a happy ending which I won't reveal (even though I've practically re-written the book here, I've gone on so much!!) I loved the book and i think i gave it 4 or maybe even 5 stars on Good reads, but my main inspiration came from Nicky. The blog he wrote really, REALLY helped him and transformed him from a shy, awkward teenager-being bullied by 'the cool kids', to someone who felt he finally belonged in the world and had found people with similar interests and ideas.
I don't know what I want or expect from this. Is there a right or wrong way to write as blog. I think its meant to be more bullet pointy, with photos and links interspersed, and I'm sure some of my blog posts will turn out like that but I also love to write and so I know that some of my posts will be longer bodies of text, so whoever is out there reading-hope that's ok. It might alienate some people!! Feel free to tell me what you all think.
That's it for this post, here's to my new blog. I hope it interests some of you and some people will identify with the stuff I have been through and done. Happy reading!!